Guilt and Condemnation
I've shared on this before, but wanted to address this again because many are still finding themselves under guilt and condemnation. This was an area that was hard to understand in most of my years as a believer. So I decided to put a teaching together on it and want to share some of it with you here. I hope the insight helps clarify any misunderstandings you may have had on the subject and put it to rest once and for all!
This is the insight: Whenever we have guilt of any kind, we are not applying the forgiveness Jesus gave for our sin, whatever it is. And, because of that, we are now trying to "pay" for it in someway, which is condemnation. When we do this, w are in all actuality putting ourselves on the cross in Jesus' place saying to Him He was not enough. These two insights have helped me stay out from under guilt.
When I start to "feel bad" about anything, that is an indicator I'm being placed under guilt. Now that I recognize it as being guilt, I take it immediately to God and receive forgiveness for whatever it was I felt guilty about. Then I trust God to restore, heal and repair of any damage I may have caused, and trust Him to work things out in the person's heart that was involved in my guilt. Within seconds the guilt is gone and I'm restored in peace. Let me share something that just happened that may help bring my point across.
I was at a local restaurant where I knew the owner pretty well. We began talking and I said something that I felt bad about saying to him. Before I had a chance to talk with him to apologize, etc, he was gone. So I began feeling "bad." I then realized I was falling under guilt - and even though what I said may have hurt him, I still needed to get out from under the guilt. (See, we think we need to suffer in our thoughts because we need to pay for what we did.) So with that, I confessed to God and received forgiveness immediately. I trusted God to mend and restore the person whom I may have hurt. Within seconds, the guilt (the pain) was gone, and my mind was restored and at peace. It was like it never happened! When I went by the restaurant again, that memory of that incident was gone and I didn't even need to go and talk to the person I felt I hurt because God restored that person too. (Sometimes God wants us to make amends, but not all the time. In this case, the person I "thought" I hurt may not have even heard what I said!)
Even if we did do or say something that really does hurt someone, we still need to apply forgiveness immediately to our hearts. And if God asks you to talk with the person and clear things up, etc., then do so. But if He doesn't, there's a reason not to, like in my example. When we receive forgiveness for something that involves another, we not only free ourselves, but free the other person as well. I'm not sure how that works, but that's what happens. I like it that when we do our part - recognizing and confessing and receiving - God does the rest. He heals, restores, and purges, fixes all the rest! Completing what we cannot do - like mending other people's hearts.
So the next time you "feel guilty" or "feel bad" remember that Jesus' sacrifice on the cross was enough and apply it immediately to your sin.
I spoke on guilt but now let me talk a bit on condemnation. We cannot have condemnation without first having felt guilt of some sort. Condemnation is what we think we need to do to pay for the offense. When a person is found guilty, then they are condemned. Sentence has been passed on how they are going to "pay" for their guilt. So if you recognize the guilt right away as described already, you will never have to even deal with condemnation, it won't be there. However, if you let the guilt go too long, and you find yourself trying to "pay" emotionally, physically, etc., for it, then stop immediately and receive forgiveness for that guilt. When you do, condemnation will flee.
Boring
One day my husband Tom and I were talking. He said something I thought was rather profound. "You can only be bored if you are around boring people. I never get bored when I'm by myself."
My husband is a very unique individual. When he goes shopping with me he never says he's bored, he knows how to enjoy himself ALL THE TIME no matter where he is at. He has learned how to enjoy the ride along the way. This isn't true for many people, and so many feel bored on their journey.
I used to be very "bored" as a Christian. I would sit around or mope at times. I knew something was not right, but didn't know how to get "un-bored" without thinking I had to "do" a bunch of stuff I didn't' feel like doing. But things have changed for me since I began this ministry. I'm never bored, even on days that I don't do anything, I enjoy every minute - I have fastened my seatbelt and now enjoy the ride, wherever it may go. It's all an adventure to me now. Never know what a day will bring - but look forward to the opportunity to exercise the faith (insights and revelations) God has given me.
For those of you who don't have a ministry, that's not what makes us un-bored. Because truthfully, there are lull times in my ministry and I still am not bored. God has taught me to live with stability when things are going one and when things are not. It's what Paul teaches on contentment. He learned to be abased and abound, he learned to have lots and have nothing, etc. It's a really great place to be. To stay constant and stable with no matter what is going on around, and "enjoying" each and every moment. Whether in traffic, at work or at the beach, it's all the same to me now, what peace!
Tom will say to me when I'm about to start a meeting, "Fasten your seatbelt and just go for the ride." I understand what he means by that and really do "enjoy" the ride.
Food and Love
Here I go again. Yep, we are going to talk about food again, but in a new light. I keep coming into more and more revelation on the reasons food is such a problem in many people's lives, including my own. I think of it constantly, it's an addiction, consuming desire. The other day, after going through so many different ways to figure this out (involving the last 15 years of my life) I asked God, again. I have come into many truths, as you have followed in my previous newsletters, and here is one I believe is the final step of truth. I really couldn't see it until I had exhausted all other avenues.
I recall that before I married Tom I didn't have any food problems. I never thought of it one way or another, and could eat just about anything. I wasn't consumed with anything at that time, as I recall (except the need to be loved) and this is what happened.
I began eating a lot when I married Tom. People say it's because you're happy. But that's not true. When I married Tom it was very rocky at first. I didn't know how to receive his love since I had been rejected in love all my life. So, I began eating (of course I didn't know this until now). In order to be satisfied in the area of "love" we fill that void with something, and it seems like it's always food or something that goes into our mouth. The mouth is the nurturing part of our bodies, so that's why it's always with food, drinking, smoking, chewing, etc. It's where we are truly comforted. When you take a drag on a cigarette, you can almost feel the comfort inside, the same with food. That first bite, your eyes roll back, and you are once again comforted. But as you know, this kind of comfort is only temporary, needing to be satisfied only moments later. Therefore, the vicious cycle of consuming begins. We aren't talking about addictions right now, but that's what it does result in if done too long.
As I thought of this, I remember that before I met Tom I wanted to be loved, yet I didn't have an eating problem, at that time, it was a sex problem. During that time I looked and looked and all I got was rejection, abandonment, abuse, and fear. So why now? Why didn't I have an eating problem then? Because in my case, someone "finally" loved me back and I rejected it. The tables were turned now, and I didn't know how to handle it, so I began eating. It has become an addiction to me. I remember in our first year of marriage my husband commented that he's never met anyone who eats for a hobby. He was right too, that's what it became. I used it instead of "receiving" His love. Sex was no longer the consumption, it was now food, because sex involved intimacy which I rejected.
Then about eight years into our marriage, I finally was able to receive Tom's love. I finally realized he wasn't going to leave me, hurt me, use me, abuse me, and reject me. He truly loved me. He would treat me like no other, with respect and honor as the Bible says. I've never been honored before or put "first" in someone's life. This was a strange new concept. But there it was. I finally was able to receive.
But then, the food addictions were established in me. Now I have to continue eating because after doing it for so long my body has developed the craving for it. I finally see that now.
So what did I do? First I recognized the need I had in the first place for food, and confessed it to God. I confessed that I wasn't receiving love so I filled it with whatever I could put in my mouth. I took responsibility for it at that moment and said I choose to live differently now. I recognized the sin that was in me that kept the addiction going, and I confessed them to God, who purges and cleanses from all unrighteousness. (Addiction, fear, abandonment, rejection, self-hatred, anger, unforgiveness, suspicion, control, inability to love and give love, distrusting, prideful, self-righteousness, wantonness, idolatry, instability, doubtful, self-preservation, hate, evil communication, impatience, unkindness, and I can go on and on with what was in me when I married Tom.) These were the things that caused me not to see God's love and Tom's love clearly.
Let's talk about our relationship with God now. How many have difficulty "receiving" His love? I think this is what is happening. Not only are we struggling on this earth with people, but we are also struggling in the same area with God. Each of us have to find out when we began eating (or not eating) and what was going on at that time. Where was your love at that time? Was someone rejecting you? Did someone truly love you and you rejected him or her? Take a look at your relationship with God. Do you have a hard time receiving His unconditional love for you personally? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see. After all, once we get past that part, we've won half the battle.
So now the sanctification process continues. I continue enjoying the work God is doing in my life since the moment of truth hit my heart. I know that I don't want anything to control me, including food, and that has been my prayer. He has been re-teaching me about food, and to stay free from the bondage of what to eat and what not to eat. I did have to take steps in getting rid of the addictions to sugars, and that has been going well. Then once that process completes (which I'm still going through) I can re-introduce the sugars without them being a "comfort or consuming" food to me.
Book Signing
Great things happening with Life Application Ministries. On July 10th in Sacramento I'll be participating in a Women's Breakfast and book signing with another local author, including two speakers during breakfast. If you would like to attend, please contact truthfrees@lifeapplicationministries.org for details.